4 posts tagged “babies”
My cycle started over yesterday. With it, came back pain. I can do without that, thank you very much. Its still bothering me, but we aren't doing any running or walking today so I have some rest in that respect.
I don't know how I feel about it, though. I am happy, because I can keep training for the marathon, yet a little sad that there'll be no baby. There is always another cycle...another month. If its meant to be it will happen.
Its quiet over here. I have four children, and it usually is pretty quiet around here. Relatively speaking. When the girls are gone with their father the silence is deafening. And then its just the boy and I (when Daddy's at work). You can tell he misses his sister's while they're gone. I miss them while they're gone.
My oldest child's 11th birthday is this coming Monday. I invited everyone we could think of, and only one family is coming. It breaks my heart for her, but I hope she doesn't care. I found her birthday gift (finally) after searching everywhere for it. But in buying it, it left us with $1.80 in the bank. I've had to rely on friends to help us keep her party going. I am waiting on the second half of the child support to come in so I can pay them back. It bothers me. A lot. We normally don't have a problem with this...its been a wonky couple of months.
I had a dream that we lived in the apartments that Anita lives in, and that I told her nosey manager to mind her own business and quit being a stalker. In my dream, her manager kept following me around and asking why I didn't buy her cheesecake (when I went to a cake store), or who lives on whatever street (when I would go visit my family). I woke up creeped out.
My menstrual cycle is wonky. I'm on the fifth cycle since giving birth to Lucian on Mother's Day, and am currently three days late on starting cycle six. This doesn't mean much, since my cycles have been varying anywhere from 42 days to 26. Yes, I said 42. The secret of life! (If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm appalled! Go read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series RIGHT NOW.) Anyway...
I hate waiting. Am I pregnant? Am I crazy? Am just a bloated fish? All of the above? Meh. Adam thinks I am having "sympathetic pregnancy symptoms" because my friend Anita is pregnant. Who knows. I think he is wishing that is the case. He is of the "I want another baby, but I'll freak out if it happens so I'll deny it to my last breath" variety. I got him to admit he wouldn't mind another late last month, but of course he denies it now. Ah, well.
So...now what. Twiddle my thumbs? Take a test? I'm going to try to wait to test until Sunday, when I'll be a week late, if it hasn't come by then. We shall see.
AJ asked me that late last night/early this morning, after we had some "quality time." It was totally out of the blue, and caught me off guard.
Am I?
Maybe. No. Yes. I don't know. I want more, but I go back and forth on whether I want another baby now or later. Regardless, if it happens, it happens. And I will be happy with my lot.
AJ has been craving pickles. "Why am I the one craving pickles? I'm a man, I can't get pregnant."
"Because you are convinced I am, though we have no proof of that and I just had my period."
Yeah, he has been thinking I am pregnant for weeks. Perhaps he is hinting he wants another baby. Might just happen...we haven't exactly been careful. Plus I ovulated last night (I track that on software, we use NFP...I just looked at it and went 0.0 ). So I guess we'll see.
I've almost got him convinced for us to go to Vegas to get married. I can't believe next month we're getting married. So excited. I'll be 32 next month. Holy cow.
